


Ice

by hurricanedelta



Category: Red vs. Blue
Genre: Alternate Universe - High School, Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, F/F, F/M, Multi
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-08-12
Updated: 2014-08-12
Packaged: 2018-02-12 22:21:52
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,099
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2126688
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/hurricanedelta/pseuds/hurricanedelta
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>He fell in for the second time.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Ice

**Author's Note:**

  * For [kellyinawheeliebin](https://archiveofourown.org/users/kellyinawheeliebin/gifts).



You hear him scream. You snap your head around to the sound of his voice but it was too late. The only thing in his place was a crack in the ice. You hear South yell and skate over to him straight away. You hear Connie yell for her to stop, because _you need to be rational, South!_ You hear a splash, and Connie sighing, her eyes filled with worry. You see Carolina skate off to find someone. You see York fail skating over to the ice. He reaches you and you grab him, and skate over to the centre, looking over at the hole in the ice. South pops out of the water, and pulls him up with her. She tells you he’s too heavy, so you let go of York and try and help her pull him out. He’s too heavy for you.

You hear yelling, and people telling you all to get out of the way. Carolina came back with a man who was (somehow) taller than North. He pushed you out of the way and pulled him out, placing him on the ice. You can’t help but stare at him.

“Is he g-gonna… is he gonna be alright?” South stands beside you, doing nothing but stare at her brother. He was blue. You couldn’t help but stare. The medic explains the situation to the both of you, and you couldn’t get the feeling of guilt and worry out of your stomach. They carried him off on a stretcher on the inside, and South kicked off her skates, sprinting after them. Connie follows her.

You watch everyone eventually leave, before kicking off your own skates and sitting down in the snow. Your eyes never leave the spot in the ice.

~

You know it’s been hours since he fell. You know that sitting out here in the snow is ridiculous, and won’t help anyone. Yet all you want to do is be alone, and god does it make you feel ten times worse. Ten times worse knowing you can’t do anything and you did nothing and you don’t know if he’s going to be okay or not because god was he blue. And you needed to know he will be okay, because he didn’t deserve this and you egged him on and it’s just…

It’s your fault.

It’s your fault you forced him onto the ice, and it’s your fault you couldn’t get to him fast enough.

God, was it your fault.

You pull your legs up to your chest and stare at the crack in the ice.

“Tex.”

You don’t avert your eyes, “Hey, York.”

You feel the snow shift from beside, and then a sudden warmness from beside you, “It’s not your fault,” he tells you. You shake your head, and remain silent.

You know it’s not.

But at the same time, it is. It really, truly is and you can’t stop thinking about it. You can’t stop thinking about how he screamed when he went over. You can’t stop thinking about how fast South skated over after him. You can’t stop thinking about how she straight up dived in after him without a second thought. You can’t stop thinking about how he was just so lifeless when he was pulled out. You can’t stop replaying it over and over and over in your head and it never changing.

“It really isn’t.”

“Go away, York.”

“It isn’t, Allison.”

“Leave me alone, James.”

He goes quiet for a moment, and you can only hear the sound of the two of you breathing. There’s that moment of silence where you just sit and feel each other’s presence, before York gets up from beside you. You hear footsteps in the snow.

“He’s my friend, too,” was the last thing York said to you. You turn your head towards him, and only see his retreating body.

And with a sigh, you assumed the position.

~

You know it has to have been at least two hours since York came and talked to you. It’s been two hours since something else has been added to your endless stream of guilt.

_He’s my friend, too._

You knew York didn’t want you to feel guilty about it. You knew all York wanted was to make sure you knew he was always there. Always there to talk when terrible things happen. York was always there, as was North.

_He’s my friend, too._

Your eyes always find themselves at the crack in the ice and you always find yourself feeling sick.

_He’s my friend, too._

You sigh.

“Tex?” you don’t turn towards your voice.

“Go away, CT.”

You can almost feel her annoyance at you, “Get up.”

You feel yourself raising your eyebrows. “No.”

“I’m not gonna have you and South wallowing around in sadness when North is okay. Get up, Allison.”

You clench your fists, “Go away, Constance.”

“Allison, if you don’t get up now I will haul your ass into the building and physically put you into a hot shower.”

“Connie!” you snap, your head whipping over to her, “I don’t want to get up! I want to stay out here and stay as far away from him as possible! I don’t want to be reminded on how it’s my fault!”

Connie goes silent for a second, “It’s not your fault,” she says gently.

You stay silent.

“It isn’t your fault.”

You’re still silent.

“Allison, I promise it isn’t your fault.”

You sigh.

“I just can’t help but feel like it is… I just— I need him to be okay…”

Connie goes silent, and she stares at you like you just told her the world. You turn your head away from her, and her voice softens. “Come inside.”

“I- I don’t want to see him.”

She places a hand on your shoulder, “You don’t have to.”

You look up at her. Okay. “Okay.”

She heaves you up, and the two of you walk back inside.

~

You have your shower, and you retreat into the dining hall for some hot cocoa. York invites you to sit with him and Wash, and you politely decline his offer, and sip on your cocoa in the heat and comfort of your room. You curl up under a blanket next to the heater and think.

Your mind wanders and you lose track of time, and how somehow, you ended up in a memory. You were seated on the bus on the way to this trip, and you were sat next to North, with South and Connie opposite of you. York was singing _The Wheels on the Bus_ , much to everyone’s dismay, and once Carolina told him to shut up, you could hear his dramatic sighs towards Wash. And then Wash’s annoyed sighs.

You thought of how South had to sprint to the front of the bus, and how somehow ‘embrace the gay’ came along. North brought up how it should be York embracing the gay (something that really displeased the man himself, who yelled that he is _BISEXUAL, FOR GODS SAKE_!). You remember when they reached the lake, and he grabbed your hand, his eyes never leaving the lake. Now that you think about it, he looked a little scared – you now know why. You asked him about it, but he laughed it off, saying it was dumb.

It wasn’t dumb.

It really, truly wasn’t dumb.

~

Neither you nor South are sleeping well, you find out. Connie told you that South barely slept, and when she did she was reckless, and had nightmares for the first two nights. You were reckless, and woke up. You didn’t have nightmares, though, which you were thankful for.

You still had yet to see him.

York had seen him, apparently, and South barely left his side. Connie had to literally carry her into their room every night, and as soon as South woke up she sprinted back to him, waiting almost obsessively for him to wake up. You had to admire her on that, she would do anything for her brother. It was an admirable trait. A trait you didn’t have.

You wanted to see him. You did, truly. You wanted to see him and make sure he was okay but you just couldn’t, because all you will be able to see will be his blue face, and all you will be able to hear will be his scream just before he went under.

You wanted to see him.

~

It took you four more days to work up the courage to see him. Four more days of him being unconscious. South had left his side at last, and you knew it was time to see him. You stand outside the door, holding the handle with shaking hands. You take a deep breath and push it open, closing it silently behind you.

“…Tex…?”

Your head snaps around, and you feel your chest tighten. “Hey…” He says nothing, and you take a few strides towards him. “How you feeling?”

“Cold,” there was a shake in his voice, and you nodded.

“You want another blanket?” You ask, and he shakes his head, a look of confusion on his face. You walk over and sit next to him, staring. He was still pale, oh so pale, and he was shivering. But he wasn’t blue anymore – that’s good, you tell yourself, that’s a good thing.

“How long-? How long was I…?”

“Six days,” you say quietly.

“What,” he yawned, “What happened?”

You hang your head, “After you fell, South dived in straight after you. Carolina got this big, Maori dude and pulled you out.” He nodded silently as your voice faded out. There was silence, and you feel all that guilt wash over you once again. You never let your eyes leave North.

“…It wasn’t your fault.” He tells you softly, moving his hand slightly and grabbing yours. You sigh, say nothing. “It isn’t, I promise.”

“But-“

“No. If I didn’t want to go on the ice, I wouldn’t’ve. It _is not_ your fault.” His voice was quiet, and his breathing was heavy. You stay silent, noting how cold his hand really was. You stared at him, as his eyes drifted shut. You sigh, and lean over and kiss his forehead, before tucking his hand back under his many blankets, and turned around. You shut the door silently, before sprinting up to South and Connie’s room.

“He just woke up, but he’s asleep again.” You say, bursting through the door. South takes one look at you, and pushes past, and you see her leap down the stairs, and sprint away. Connie looks at you.

“How’s he doing?”

“He’s cold, but he’s getting better.” Connie nods, and looks at you expectantly. You shrug.

~

It’s another week before he’s walking around again. He’s still rugged up, and South almost refuses to leave his side. You tried to get him alone for a chat, or _something,_ but South bit your head off, and told you to leave him alone. You rolled your eyes, and he told you another time. You understood, though. He was extremely close with his sister, and after something as traumatic as that he would want to stay with her. You just couldn’t help it. You wanted to see him. And talk to him. And make sure he was okay. You wanted to hug him and tell him you were there for him and you always will be but you can’t get your chance. You can’t do it in public, and South won’t leave the two of you alone, so there’s no choice but to watch from afar, and wait until he’s alone.

It could take a while.

You could wait.

~

You waited. You waited and waited and watched from afar as South never left her brother alone. You watched as York and North and Wash all joked around again, almost as though nothing happened. You did notice the three of them talking in hushed tones, and you could almost feel the sincerity on York’s face. And then, shortly after, he tackled Wash into a big, dramatic hug, and dramatically wailed. You shook your head in amusement.

It was another week later and you got nothing. But, there was one shocking event that really did make you smile.

You figured North noticed your distanced behaviour, and one day he strode over to you, grabbed your face and kissed you for the first time in weeks. You heard a yell from one of those Blood Gulch boys, and a yelp shortly after. You broke apart and he brought your foreheads together, and you smiled. You really, truly smiled.

**Author's Note:**

> for kelly, happy birthday!!!!!!


End file.
